11/2/2025 Leaving Me For Finding Me

Date: 11/2/2025

Title: Leaving Me to Finding Me

Scripture:

[Acts 13:9-14]

9 Then Saul, who was also called Paul, filled with the Holy Spirit, looked straight at Elimas and said,

10 “You are a child of the devil and an enemy of everything that is right! You are full of all kinds of deceit and trickery. Will you never stop turning the straight ways of the Lord into crooked ones?

11 Now the hand of the Lord is against you. You are going to be blind for a time, not even able to see the light of the sun.” Immediately mist and darkness came over him, and he groped about, seeking someone to lead him by the hand.1

12 When the proconsul saw what had happened, he believed, for he was 2astonished at the teaching about the Lord.

13 From Paphos, Paul and his companions sailed to Perga in Pamphylia, where John left them to return to Jerusalem.3

14 From Perga they went on to Pisidian Antioch. On the Sabbath they entered the synagogue and sat dow4n.

Overview

We are returning to the Book of Acts after a break for a retreat.

To briefly review the past events: the first Gentile church was established in Antioch of Syria, which was the third largest city of the Roman Empire. The amazing news reached the Jerusalem church that Gentiles and Jews were worshiping together there. Barnabas was sent to Antioch to strengthen this church.

This tells us that Barnabas was the first missionary officially sent by the Jerusalem church, the first church of humanity. We can see the enormous trust the church had in Barnabas.

As we study Acts, the Lord shines a light on the person of Barnabas, urging us to pay attention to him. He was a Jewish immigrant (Diaspora) who was born and raised in Cyprus, not Israel. However, Barnabas was not his birth name; it was a name given to him by people.

What does Barnabas mean? It means 'Son of Encouragement.'

Barnabas's first appearance was remarkable: when the first church community in Jerusalem was facing financial hardship, he was the first to volunteer to share his possessions. He proved to the world that the church was an astonishing community of love, one that the world had never seen.

You can understand why he was named Barnabas, right? Was this brother truly a source of strength for God and the church? Yes, he was!

His second appearance was when Saul, a zealous young Pharisee who had been arresting Christians, had a dramatic encounter with Jesus in Damascus. Now, being pursued by the Jews, Saul barely made it to the Jerusalem church.

At the time, even the church members doubted Saul's conversion and would not accept him. It was Barnabas again who first believed in Saul's conversion and vouched for his safety.

What great strength that must have been for Saul, who was trapped! And how pleasing and joyful must Barnabas's actions have been to our Father God!

Barnabas truly was the Son of Encouragement to God and his people.

Barnabas then became a key figure in the first revival among the Gentiles.

[Acts 11:24 (NIV)] He was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and faith, and a great number of people were brought to the Lord.

The Holy Spirit is not visible, and faith itself is not visible. So, what did people see in Barnabas?

They saw that he was good. Even evil people, and those in the world who do not know God, recognize a good person and are moved by them.

Look at the nine fruits of the Spirit: Love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Aren't all of these summed up by the everyday word 'good' in the world?

Jesus also said this:

[Matthew 5:16 (NIV)] In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

The way Christians shine God's light to the world is through good deeds (or 'good behavior'). This both moves the world and brings glory to God.

Friends, if you look at the life of Jesus, one thing is clear: Jesus was a truly good person. The Gospels state that although not everything could be recorded, wherever He went, He healed the sick people lined up and waiting, even until He was exhausted.

However, the healing of the body is temporary compared to eternal life, isn't it? The person would eventually weaken and face death. While it would have been enough for Jesus to hold a few large gatherings and show miraculous signs to prove that He was the Son of God, He never turned away the people who came to Him, and He healed them all.

The reason was that Jesus was a good person who shared in their pain. He wept over Lazarus' death, even though He was about to raise him. Why? Because He sympathized with the grief of Mary and Martha.

Jesus was a warm-hearted person who first felt their pain and wept with people, even those who were sick and suffering because of their own sins.

True fullness of the Holy Spirit is shown to the world through this kind of good character and actions.

Especially to unbelievers who do not yet know the Holy Spirit, the fullness of the Spirit is shown by being a good neighbor to them.

Failure in the Fullness of the Spirit

However, even when living a life full of the Holy Spirit for the Lord, one can experience failure.

Look at the young man, John Mark, who appears in our passage today. He grew up in an environment where the Holy Spirit descended on his own house at Pentecost, and his house became the location of the very first Christian church in history.

Mark was also chosen as a team member for the first world mission. Amazing things happened on the mission trip with Barnabas and Paul. A sorcerer was blinded, and the proconsul of Cyprus came to believe in Jesus. Mark witnessed these great events directly.

He did not leave because he was disappointed following an ordinary pastor. This young man, who was with Barnabas and Paul—men recognized by God, guaranteed by Scripture as being the most Spirit-filled, and closest followers of Jesus' disciples—gave up halfway and returned home.

Look at the map. The passage reveals that the place he departed from was Perga in Pamphylia.

To return to Jerusalem from Perga (which is at the bottom right of the map), they had to travel by land to the port city of Attalia, then take a ship to Antioch in Caesarea, and then travel a long distance by land to get home. Even if ships were immediately available, it was a journey of over 1,000 km, taking at least three weeks, and realistically, a month.

In that time, they couldn't make online reservations or call their families in advance, and they faced a difficult, unpredictable journey. The fact that he left the team and went home means that something was seriously wrong; he had firmly decided to leave Paul and Barnabas.

The concern and disappointment he caused were so great that when they were preparing for the second mission trip, Barnabas insisted on taking John Mark, but Paul strongly disagreed. They had a sharp argument and separated, going on separate missions. This shows that, whatever the specific reason, John caused a major issue when he left the mission team.

Even the mission team of Paul and Barnabas, great as they were, had conflict and desertion. The fact that there was division among co-workers, not just hardship from the outside world, is, in some ways, a comfort.

Even in a faithful family, couples argue, and conflicts with children arise, don't they? Just like John Mark, who grew up in a faithful and good environment, there are times when people leave the church for a while.

Just as this was not Paul and Barnabas's fault, the religious wandering of a child is not always the fault of the parents. This is a comfort.

And eventually, John Mark grew up to be a disciple who made an enormous contribution to church history. He is the one who wrote the Gospel of Mark. Furthermore, he became a person whom both Paul and Peter trusted and loved like a son.

When we read the Bible, there is a very important perspective we need to adopt. Christians often miss this perspective, even when they do many Bible studies (Q.T.) and memorize many verses.

The Bible is entirely about the faith development of God's people, including Old Testament figures like Abraham, Moses, and David, as well as Jesus' disciples like Peter and Paul.

Unfortunately, many of our evangelical churches tend to view things simply as 'before and after'—before and after salvation, before and after conversion, before and after being born again, before and after the Holy Spirit's coming—seeing it in black and white.

Of course, the difference between 'before and after' being born again is eternal. However, the Bible records a story of continuous growth with ups and downs, starting from that point. This crucial perspective of continuous growth is often not fully appreciated.

Paul's Journey

The departure of Mark, who was his key assistant, was a painful failure for Paul. But surprisingly, it is right at this point that the Bible stops calling him 'Saul, who was also called Paul,' and starts calling him simply 'Paul'—a completely changed name.

This experience of failure also led to another step of change for Paul.

The name Saul is derived from the Hebrew verb sha'al, meaning 'to ask' or 'to beg.' Saul means 'one obtained by asking God.' The most famous person with this name was King Saul of Israel; he truly was the one the Israelites obtained by asking God for a king.

The name 'Saul' carried the image of a great and important person.

On the other hand, 'Paul' is a Roman name that means 'small' or 'humble.'

There are two theories: one is that this was his original Greek name, given to Saul, who was born in Tarsus (a Roman region); the other is that it was a new name he took after meeting Jesus to humble himself.

However, what is more important than the origin is that Saul wanted to completely drop the name 'Saul' and be called only 'Paul.' This is key.

Immediately after Paul regained his sight upon meeting Jesus, he went to the Jewish synagogues and declared, "Jesus is the Christ!" The Bible shows that he was an energetic, fearless, and justice-driven, heroic character.

Because of this, the period of retirement in his hometown immediately afterward must have been even more painful for Saul. There was no knowing when he could go out into the world again, and he was cut off from the people he used to associate with. During that time, he was becoming a person more suited to the name 'Paul.'

It was at that time that Barnabas sought him out. More accurately, the Holy Spirit sent Barnabas to call Paul out again. This meant he was ready.

However, it does not mean he had become a perfect being.

For example, one of the earliest letters Paul wrote is Galatians, and it contains very sharp and harsh language.

For instance, there is a scene where he severely criticizes Peter and Barnabas, calling them hypocrites and saying they were carried away by temptation. This happened when they got up from eating with Gentile believers after some Jewish believers from Judea arrived.

Of course, Peter and Barnabas could have handled the situation better, but could there not have been a reasonable explanation for their actions? They might have been showing consideration because the brothers from Judea were still uncomfortable in a Gentile environment. The fact that Paul used such severe terms as "hypocrites" and "carried away by temptation" shows that, even if he was right, his manner was harsh.

Yet, in later letters like Romans, Ephesians, and Philippians, he seems like a completely different person, full of love and acceptance.

Ephesians 4:2-3 (NIV)

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace."

Barnabas might have been naturally gentle and good-natured. Therefore, his growth might not be as obvious. But Paul's transformation is clearly visible in his letters, which later became Scripture.

I believe one of the reasons God highlights Paul over other disciples, including Peter and Barnabas, is precisely this.

It's because it shows so clearly how this person, who was harsh and quick to condemn directly, became a person of gentleness and love as he grew to be more like Jesus.

Paul's journey, simply put: a zealous Pharisee before meeting Jesus $\rightarrow$ zealous new believer Saul, immediately proclaiming Jesus as the Christ in the synagogue $\rightarrow$ years of isolation $\rightarrow$ starting a Spirit-filled ministry as a missionary with Barnabas $\rightarrow$ wanting to be called only Paul after the failure of Mark's desertion during ministry.

Even after Paul emerged from his isolation and began Spirit-filled ministry, and even after his new identity as Paul was established, he certainly did not stop there. He continued on the journey of walking with Jesus and becoming more like Him.

If we look at the Bible through the lens of continuous growth—that God wants to show us Saul becoming Paul, and Paul's ongoing development—then Paul's letters clearly show his transformation.

Our evangelical churches generally judge faith by dividing it into two states: having faith or not, being born again or not. They tried to explain all states of faith with these two categories. What has been the result?

Is it possible that too many people, even after decades of Christian life, are simply moving back and forth between these two extremes, making no real progress?

If we don't see faith as continuous growth, does it not lead people to think, "I must not have faith, I must not be a true Christian," and give up when they fail at being good? Going back and forth between extremes? That's how Christian life has been lived, which is why many Korean Christians are vulnerable to cults.

Paul failed, and Barnabas made mistakes. So, we, too, will never give up. We are continually becoming more wonderful children of God. We are continuously growing through all these processes. We challenge ourselves, reflect, and start over for this reason. This is one reason why we are given a Sabbath day of worship every seven days.

We lay down past failures and mistakes before the Lord and start anew. After several years, we will surely have grown.

However, this does not happen by grace alone, automatically.

[Psalm 63:8 (NIV)] My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.

The original word for 'clings' means to stick close, or to chase after with the intent to catch up. This indicates a powerful act of will. It is not a passive wish but the fervent effort of the soul.

A quote by Dallas Willard, cited in a book we read on Wednesdays, truly resonates:

"Grace is opposed to earning, not effort. The key to the Kingdom of God, and to a quiet, yet powerful life and ministry, is our well-aimed, decisive, and persistent effort."

Our confession that we are saved by grace alone means that no effort of ours is sufficient to pay for our sins.

However, for those who have received grace, a life of wholeheartedly loving God and serving their neighbors is the path to the life and power—the abundant life promised by the Lord—which can only be realized as they continually change to become more like a child of God.

This fullness comes to us more and more as we add our hearts and efforts, following the guidance of the Holy Spirit. This is the blessing that should happen in our lives. As time passes, we become people of deep love with a more spacious capacity for others.

And all of this flows eternally from the Lord, who is eternal life, into us.

Then, those who used to wield harsh words are transformed into people who speak gentle and comforting words.

Barnabas's Growth

[Acts 15:37-39 (NIV)]

37 Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, 38 but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. 39 They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus5,

What if Barnabas had backed down to avoid conflict, according to his naturally peaceful nature? They would have left Mark behind, as Paul wished.

But if that had happened, what about Mark? How much guilt would he have carried, thinking his major mistake meant he would never get another chance?

This time, however, Barnabas did not retreat from his firm intention to take Mark. Isn't this uncharacteristic of Barnabas? Barnabas, too, was growing during that time. He was not just a peace-seeker but a person who would not back down when he was certain of God's will. Barnabas had grown.

The place Barnabas took Mark is so moving. Where did they sail to? Cyprus... He took him directly back to the route of his failed first mission.

This is an act of God's love—forgiveness—like how Jesus came to Peter, who had denied Him three times, and gave him three opportunities to confess his love. Barnabas was putting this into practice.

How touching, isn't it? Barnabas is so good! It's because he is becoming like Jesus.

In Paul's final letter, 2 Timothy, his high praise for Mark is surely not a coincidence; it reflects Barnabas's influence. Just as Barnabas learned decisiveness and courage from Paul, Paul also learned acceptance and gentleness through Barnabas, and he grew.

All of us in Christ Jesus are in this process.

We all need to be changed anew every day.

If Paul and Barnabas needed continuous transformation, how much more do you and I?

That is why I don't mind getting older. In Christ, will tomorrow not bring me closer to being a person of greater hope, and next year a person of deeper love?

There, I will find the true me I have longed for all my life...

A me that I am not ashamed of...

A me I don't need to try to prove.

This is what we have been searching for.

Let us pray.